More on Baltimore
Happy Turkey Day, everyone (those of you who celebrate it, at least)
Right. Where was I?
Sweaty July weekend in Baltimore.
Everybody’s Playing a Game…
The venue itself was sweltering hot. Lee, Graydancer, and I, along with everyone else running about and setting up, were dripping long before the event ever started. I had been warned ahead of time that our accommodations were not going to be much to speak of. Good thing I’m not the most high maintenance of people. We were staying on the floor of the venue… In one of the storage rooms to be precise. Lee Had brought bedrolls and sleeping bags, so we didn’t have to sleep on cold concrete. I think I saw a rat or two, but pretended not to notice. My life. It is a glamorous one.
It was slightly cooler in the storage room than in the rest of the venue, so we spent a lot of the time holed up in there. I was curled up with Gray on one of the sleeping mats, when Evan gave me a call, as promised.
“Hey sweetie. You get into Baltimore ok?”
“Yep! I’m safe and sound. We’re just kinda chillin… as much as you can in this weather.”
“And you made it to your hotel ok? The place is fine?”
A pause.
I glanced down at the rolled up sleeping bags… And decided I didn’t want he should worry, as my Grandmother used to say.
“We’ll be ok for the night. Don’t worry.”
“Ok hun… have a great time.”
So much of that weekend blurs together in my head… But my, was that blur a thing of beauty.
Out of the fog, I hear his voice rasp in my ear… “I’m really going to enjoy making you my little slut this weekend. And I’m also going to enjoy hurting you.”
His words shot through my core. I had never let anyone call me “slut” before, in any context. Not even in French. Why was it ok now? I don’t think I knew the answer at that moment, I just knew that something clicked and stayed on.
“From now on, when I ask you something, you will answer ‘Yes Gray.’ I won’t always do something immediately if you forget, but I will be keeping track.”
The entire event became a game… and I was learning the rules as I went along. I didn’t know where the Game was going, but I did enjoy the process.
Bound and… umm…. Sprinkled?
I met Annie Sprinkle that day. She did one of her Sidewalk Sex Clinics and invited Graydancer to sit and be one of the “Sex Experts” to give free advice to passers by on the street. And he decided, since he was a rope expert and all, that he clearly needed a visual aide: Me.
So he put me in a chest tie with my hands tied behind my back (There’s a japanese name for it, that I only sort of know and definitely don’t know how to spell)
“You see what a sadist I am?” He said “I know how much of a fan you are of Annie, and now you can’t sheke her hand.” And with that, he took me outside. So help me, I found a way of shaking that woman’s hand, though it did take some maneuvering.
I don’t know if I’ve ever met such a warm, and open person in my life. She doesn’t carry herself like an adult actress, but like an earth mother/ Goddess. I had been a fan of her books and her sex education work, but meeting her in person was something else… Especially since I was, quite literally, tied up at the time.
The folding table was set up right outside the venue. A few “experts”, including Annie, sat outside and waited for passers by to stop and ask questions.
I just stood there and looked… well… sweaty and bound. At some point, one of Annie’s assistants or handlers came outside with a large bottle of water. She looked somewhat frazzled. She turned to me…
“Excuse me, would you mind handing this to Annie for me, please?”
I blinked at her for a moment, and waited for her request to sink in. After a moment of clarity, the poor thing flushed ten shades of purple.
“Oh, my God! I’m soo sorry. I completely didn’t realize.”
I smiled at her. “Don’t worry. But I’d get someone else to hand Annie that water if I were you.”
She did.
Some time later, a wiry gentleman who must have been in his late thirties/ early forties stopped to talk to Annie and Graydancer about issues he was having with this friend of his… Well, something more than friend. Without going into too much detail about another’s misfortune, there was a dynamic of codependence going on. He talked with Gray and Annie for a while.
And I had something what to say. I leaned in, and politely asked if I could add something to the conversation. When I got the ok, I told him that he needed to start communicating clear boundaries, and needed to make clear the separation of his needs versus hers. There are ways of doing this lovingly and supportively without making her feel like shit.
Something to that effect. I’m sure what I actually said was far more coherent… But it’s been a while.
Annie stared at me for a moment when I’d finished speaking my piece.
“Wow. That’s really great advice. Are you a therapist?”
“Ummm… No.” I said with some combination of shock and glee. (My inner child/fangirl was busy going bananas. But, like I said, I keep her under wraps)
Clearly, whatever I said had resonated with him deeply. Annie saw this and said to him “I think I’m going to leave you to talk with Sascha.” And she called someone else up.
It was only after the fact that I realized this was one of the most surreal moments of my entire life. Here I was, tied up, on the streets of Baltimore, flanked by Annie Sprinkle and Graydancer in white lab coats, leaning over a folding table and speaking in earnest to some perfect stranger about his romantic life.
How many people can say that?
Soon enough, the sun started to go down, and Gray needed to prepare for his first performance. (He and I were to close the event with ours)
He untied me, gave me his lab coat, and I continued to participate in the clinic while he got ready.
It’s still hard for me to believe that wasn’t a dream…. But it couldn’t have been, because I have a souvenir that proves otherwise: an autographed copy of Annie’s Spectacular Sex.
Not only did she autograph the front page, she also decorated it with magic markers and wrote in pink marker: Sascha, You are an amazing sex educator and sex Goddess!
I was on cloud nine. But the best was still yet to come.
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