Entering the Scene (A Lonely Pervert Guide)

So you wanna get into “the scene” (or “the lifestyle” or whatever the cool kids are calling it these days), but don’t know where to start. The transition from one’s computer screen, fantasy life, or bedroom into the greater community can seem really daunting.

There’s a metric fuckton of stuff out there for just about every kink and predilection. Now with the advent of Fetlife and Google, kinky people all over the world can connect and get themselves off more efficiently than ever before. However, finding large cohorts of flesh-and-blood kinky people is a whole other matter entirely.

Although I’m by no means an expert on everything kink-community related, I do know something about the avenues by which people get there. From my personal experience, and what I hear from friends and acquaintances in the scene, there seem to be a few consistent entry points in just about every region of the country. I realize that these outlets are more accessible in some places than others, but they’re out there.

So here is my macro-level take on venues to explore if you’re considering “going public.”

If I leave something out, get something wrong, or you think I’m full of crap, please let me know.

Local BDSM Clubs

Local BDSM clubs are around, depending on where you live. These are spaces filled with specialty furniture and equipment for kinky play. However, randomly showing up at a BDSM club, in my experience, is not the best entree into the scene. They’re great if you’re just looking for a place to beat your partner on shiny equipment that you may not have in your house. However, many places have a reputation for being somewhat skeezy. I’ve heard stories of people asking tops about a toy they’re using in the middle of a super intense scene, openly masturbating right in front of a scene, going up to collared women asking if they’d like a foot rub, and others I don’t care to recount. Therefore, many seasoned scene people stay away unless they’re with a play partner there’s a class or an event going on in the space.

If you do decide to go to a club, be respectful, don’t touch anyone without asking, and don’t be that creepy masturbating guy.

Local Groups and Organizations

A lot of people start out with local organizations. Some big cities have juggernaut organizations, such as NELA in New England, TES in New York, and Black Rose in DC.

Even if there’s no big group in your area, or you find that such organizations are not your thing, there are smaller groups/organizations that organize classes, discussion groups, happy hours, and local events.

In my experience, most of the meetups on a local level are either educational, or low key meet-and-greet type deals, called munches (for the most part). Munches take place in a public setting – usually a bar, diner, or cafe – and give people the chance to hang out and get to know their fellow kinksters in a low pressure, no play, non sexualized setting. Munches, like everything, are hit and miss. Some munches attract a great group of interesting people. Others attract maybe three guys with beer guts who smell funny.

Classes and munches provide the opportunity to meet people who have ins to local play parties/sexy events that might interest you. If you play your cards right, you might even be invited to one of those elusive private parties that everyone and no one knows about.

Other Groups

If you’re between the ages of 18 and 35, there are local TNG (The Next Generation) groups all over the country. You can read Boymeat’s keynote about the inception and purpose of such groups here. They be all over Fetlife.

While some groups cater to the general “whips and chains” crowd, others are for specific segments of the population: spanking groups, rope groups, Dom groups, bisexual switch groups, queer groups, women’s groups, bulldyke switches with a fruit fetish group, etc.. There are a bunch of other little fetish enclaves, which have their own events. They can be very different creatures from the general BDSM culture. Some fetish groups even look down on or separate themselves from the greater BDSM scene. I know a few spankos (spanking fetishists) who insist that what they do in no way resembles what those kinky perverts in leather do.

*sigh*

Can’t we all just get along?

Sorry. I digress…

National Events

Ever wanted to meet the people whose work you get off to? Do you have money to spend and want to connect with kinksters all over the country? Then national events are the way to go. In my experience, they have a very different feel than local events. They’re a perverted cousin of Sci-Fi/Fantasy conventions. They mostly consist of classes and panels from national presenters, and offer an open play space in the evenings. There are other special programs that tend to be specific to that event. Usually, one stays in the host hotel or nearby hotel, if it’s in a hotel or convention center.

Some events, such as Dark Odyssey Summer Camp, Leather Retreat, and Spank, are held on campgrounds. Those events are particularly awesome, because you can explore your kinky desires without worrying about scaring the non kinky folk or sharing an elevator with small children while decked out in Fetish wear.

Unconferences

In my not so humble and completely biased opinion, the unconference phenomenon is one of the more exciting new developments in the scene. People gather together to share information. Unlike other major events, there are no gurus or names. People come with curiosity and knowledge and that what gets discussed at the event. It’s a great way to share your knowledge, learn what’s out there, and benefit from other people’s experience.

The format of unconferences vary. The two I’m familiar with are Graydancer’s GRUE and KinkForAll.

The GRUE (the one I went to at least) was more open to demos than KFA, and presentations had no set schedule or time limit. It worked surprisingly well. KFA is more structured, in that each presentation must be no longer than 20 minutes. Also, it is held in a non sexual/non play space so that people who are not ready to jump in with both feet have a safe venue to learn about a wide array of things.

If there’s one coming up in your city, I highly recommend going. If there isn’t one, I highly recommend contacting Gray or the KinkforAll people and putting one together.

Sorry. That turned into more of a plug than I’d aniticipated.

So yeah. That’s my two cents, for whatever the going rate is these days.

Struggle

He threw me down on my bed, straddled me, and began punching my chest. I lay supine beneath him, letting each hit absorb into my body. There’s something beautiful and visceral about thuddy hand-to-skin impact play.

And then he stopped, looked at me for an instance and said, “You know, it’s ok if you want to struggle.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice. I tried to wriggle my body out from beneath him, as he clamped his legs around mine. I clawed at my sheets, trying in vain to pull myself free. He pinned my wrists to the bed. I’d try to lever my wrists from his hands, only to have them pinned down again.

At moments, we’d just stop and stare at one another, waiting for the other to make a move. With a swift motion of his arm or leg, I’d be down on the bed again, and the cycle would continue.

There was silliness and laughter interspersed throughout the struggle. All in all, it was a delightful way to spend an evening.

I knew I had no chance at getting the upper hand. He had too much strength, mass, and dexterity on his side. But then again, the whole point of that scene was for him to overtake me.

When the scene ended, however, a paralyzing thought swept over me. What if this struggle weren’t a game? What if this was a match I couldn’t afford to lose? If someone as strong as this play partner assaulted me, I’d be as good as dead. What would I do?

“In that case, you’d just run.” Was his response. “If you had to, you’d go for the weak spots. Balls, throat, nose. If you hit someone in the nose with the heel of your hand, you can do a lot of damage. But if you can, just run.”

I’ve done a ton of takedown and struggle scenes over the course of my kinky journey. I don’t know why that scene in particular elicited those notions. All I know is in that moment, I became acutely aware of my own mortality. In play, we flirt with danger in a (hopefully) controlled environment, but sometimes it can bring out fears of dangers present in the outside world.

Elust #5

HNT Courtesy of Sexy Sadie

Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #6? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

♦ This Week’s Top Three Posts ♦

Late Arrival: An Airport Encounter - I saw a possible haven ahead: a pilot disappearing into the pilots’ lounge. I could think of nowhere else that would offer us even a modicum of privacy. Time to brazen it out. With her still walking obediently alongside, I pushed my way into the lounge.

The Condom Question. Confession #397 – Luckily, this time I had my wits about me enough to reply with a categorical, Yes a condom is absolutely necessary, darlin, but history has proven that, while I’m naked and horny, I can offer no more justification as to why such protection is paramount.

No more… - “I’m so sorry, I can’t…”. Words, words, so many words… reasons and reasoning and things and stuff and none of it made sense, and through all of it, disbelief, dread, a sickness of heart… I couldn’t quite believe what I was hearing.

◊ e[lust] Editress ◊

Sex as a Panacea - As I begged “faster” “harder” “more!” I felt my orgasm come on, a mere minute or two after we began with this combination. A thunderous orgasm overtook me as he kept up with the dildo and I with the Climax for the first big wave.

♦ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ♦

Bad Girl – I take off my coat and stand proudly before her in my black lace corset, suspenders, stockings and heels. She looks me up and down and smiles at me when she catches my stare. Desire is already zinging through my body.

See also: Pleasurists #59 and #60 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Blowjob Tips!
Companioning
Domestic Violence on MTV’s ‘Teen Mom’
From Helper To Survivor
Good girl, bad girl…
Girlie Toys
If the Peg Fits
Illicit Encounters
Insecurity, You can Kiss My Ass
Nothing is perfect, which is why there is communication
Regaining my Femme
Studying
The Condom Question. Confession #397

Erotic Writing

All Rise For the Queen
Centre of Attention
Crying Uncle
Ending The Decade With Wes
Invading The Boy’s Club – #4
Last Night
Late Arrival: An Airport Encounter
Lorraine’s Coming Out
My reputation precedes me
Party Doll
The Beginning
The Erotic Touch of a Stranger

Kink & Fetish

1st night out as sub
Being my Master’s Shoe Slut
Bondage and Being Ignored
Caning in the snow at New Year
Mind Games and Number Games
Much Ado About Punching
No more…
September 2010: A Slave’s Initiation
The Intimacy of Being Taken
Thievery
The workhouse maid, punished
The Porn Reports, Part 1
Violence and BDSM
Yes, No, and Consent
“You’re a good little fuck toy”

News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Delegating Gaga
I Hope He Does “Animal” Next
Sometimes I’m Not So Sexy…

Violence and BDSM

Yesterday, my podcast with Axe went live. Go listen to it. I’m pretty happy with how it turned out.

Last week, someone left a comment on my interrogation post, saying that it sent both good and bad chills up his spine. When I pried further about what gave him bad chills, he pointed to this section of the post:

“I heard his knife click open, and waited to feel the edge of the blade against my back. Instead, he raised it to my hair, as if he were about to cut a lock off.

Not okay. Said some voice inside me, This needs to stop. Now.”

He replied:

Reading this, I was more than a bit horrified — admittedly, I don’t know you from a stranger on the street, but the thought of violence, real violence, against a woman really does make me see red. I’ve had two female friends in the past who were the recipient of violence from their boyfriends so perhaps I’m more sensitive about this than some would be.

I know the entire BDSM scene is entirely built upon trust and respect, but I guess I question how much trust and respect you can have for someone who is essentially a complete stranger that you only met the night before. Yes, he stopped immediately when you shouted “whoa!” but what if he hadn’t listened? What if the knife had gone on not to cut just your hair, but carve his name into your back? Yes, I’m sure you would have screamed bloody murder, but it would have been a bit too late by then, no? Also, I presume you were taken somewhere private for this scene.

The simple response to this comment is that the scene occurred in an open play-space and not in a private room. Many other people were playing or watching in the space, and there were dungeon monitors walking around to make sure no one did anything stupid. I didn’t fear for my safety because I knew there were people with EMT training who’d be there if something went wrong.

However, this comment raises a point that I think is more interesting: the line between BDSM and violence. I didn’t perceive what was happening to me in the interrogation scene as violence. However, the very same actions in a different context would have constituted violence.

I know for a fact that many people in the scene, especially male tops in my experience, have had to grapple with notions of violence. Men are taught to respect women and never to hit them. It’s hard to reconcile those notions with BDSM. One Dom-acquaintance of mine is a social worker who works with perpetrators of sexual assault. Needless to say, he’s had a lot of trouble coming to terms with his kinky proclivities, since what he does in the bedroom bears striking resemblance to his clients’ actions. Context and intention, as my friend has come to realize, is what separates BDSM and violence. I imagine this is a hard concept for many to wrap their heads around.

Violence is much more than inflicting physical pain on another person. It’s about exerting power and control over another person without that person’s consent for the express purpose of inflicting harm.

While BDSM plays with the emotional states associated with violence, the intention is not to inflict harm or even pain most of the time. Sinclair Sexsmith wrote a fantastic post the tension between her feminist ideals and sexual desires. She articulates this concept far better than I can.

Phrases – like men should not hurt women or rather masculine people should not hurt feminine people, or even more broadly that people should not hit each other and violence is bad bad bad – I had accepted those phrases as Ultimate Truths, and I started to understand deeper the ways that sensation was not violence, and hitting was a way to be sparked into the present moment, to release whatever our musculature was holding onto, and to deepen trust between people and in a relationship.

I think that one of the many reasons why the BDSM scene is built around trust and respect is so that we can articulate and draw those lines. However, the bounds of consent can sometimes get blurry, so I don’t feel comfortable definitively saying that violence never manifests in the scene. Of course, when you build a dynamic on trust, and put your personal safety into someone else’s hands, you always run the risk that the trust will be broken. How did I know that Cannon was not going to slit my throat? I guess I didn’t. By playing with him, I consented to taking that chance. If we were in private and he didn’t stop when I stated a boundary, there may have been genuine violence.

Whenever I get on the topic of kink and violence, my brain goes in a million directions at once. I wish I had a more definitive answer to my reader’s concern. I think it’s an important concept to talk about how we separate what we do from actual violence, and whether the line is as clear cut as we’d like it to be.

Out with the old

Around this time every year, I look back to where I was this time the year before.

Usually, where I am and where I was feel light-years apart. This year is no different. I’m in a very different place than I was a year ago, both geographically and emotionally.

2009 was a rough year for me, full of unexpected ends and painful learning experiences, but I got through it. Not only did I get through it, but I used the difficulties to bring me to a place more exciting and promising than I could have imagined a year ago. I hope that I can continue to learn from this new journey in 2010. Ok… Lots of hot kinky sex would also be nice, but right now I’m focused on learning and growth and all that jazz.

There was a lot of beauty for me this year too, and I’m grateful for that too.

So yeah. Those are my parting thoughts for 2009. I think that’s enough vagueness and sentimentality for an end of year blurb.

Now, like many of you I imagine, I’m off to get drunk with some of my pervy friends!

Have a happy and healthy new year everyone!

Elust #4

Hey, check it out! My interrogation post made the top three!

HNT Courtesy of Molls (via Eat The Cake NYC)

Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #5? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

♦ This Week’s Top Three Posts ♦

Interrogation - I looked up at him, feigning cluelessness. “I know you can understand me. So I ask you again. Where are the lenses?” Another strike. I crumpled into the bench.

Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top - There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me….

Fire and Ice – The rain comes down harder around us, the freez­ing drop pelt­ing what­ever skin lies exposed over the sur­face of the water.

◊ e[lust] Editress ◊

By the Twinkling Lights… - His lips found my nipples and I forgot about the cold. If a car were to drive by and the passengers were to look past the twinkling lights on the tree, they would have seen a naked woman’s rear end pressed against the glass wall..

♦ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ♦

Ronjazz: Late Night Rendezvous - Meet me in the parking lot at the post with the broken lamp. 10PM sharp! Do not be late! Stand facing the post, eyes closed. Wear a flimsy dress and heels – nothing else!

See also: Pleasurists #58 and #59 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Writing

Adoration
Diary Of A Pissed Off Wife
Happy Halloween
Heartbreak hotel
Heat
Lips…Tongue…Taste
Marathon Sex
Not Always, But Often: Part 1
Our (Sorta) Intro to BDSM
Rising above the Background
Sex at 2am
The Babysitter
The Chair
The Beginning?
The Pleasure Chest
The Slut Chronicles #10 ~ The Interview
The Walk
Today’s Specials: Orgasms, Wet Panties, and Margaritas
Twinkling Heat
We are glass
What I Want

Kink & Fetish

Amber’s New Dungeon
Awesome Body Mod Night
Co-Hypno-Topping
Day of Debauchery
Go Ask Teresa: Mothers
Helpless
Jack was a Picky Eater
Kissing Noises
My very first experience of BDSM
Mouth
Play Piercing? Seriously? Why?!?
Sounds and Catheters
The Taking of M

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Aftercare, Part I: The Basics
Ask The Negress: Privacy & Perversion.
Boundaries…
Do Slaves Deserve Love?
Gyne-Vestiphobia: Fear of Women’s Clothing
Let There Be Love
On My Experience With Sex Toys
Riding The Crimson Wave – Having Sex On Your Period
The Gangbang as Social Commentary
Titty Fucking
TPE (Total Power Exchange): A Novice’s Perspective
Weekend Fun

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

December 17th
God rest ye, merry cuckold!
You’ve Got To Be Nuts

Playing With Physically Broken People

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of recording a podcast for the Masocast, hosted by Axe. We had a great conversation about how I got into kink, my views on the scene, limits, Fetlife schmucks, and much more ™! I hope other people find our conversation as interesting as I did. In the holiday spirit, you should all go over an donate money so he can keep the podcast going.

I’ll post the link as soon as it goes live. Here endeth the plug.

A friend of mine recently asked me how I managed to play with a broken foot. For those of you just tuning in, I shattered my ankle in July, and was on crutches through October.

My foot is still a bit tender, but I’m walking in normal shoes, and can even manage low heels for short periods of time! This is exciting if you’re me.

Anyway, getting back into play was not easy. I’d been scared of playing. I like a lot of struggle in my play, and I didn’t want to risk fucking my foot up more than I already had.

But after a few months, when I could start putting a little weight on my foot, I found that being gimpy offered a slew of interesting possibilities.

For one thing, I was easy to immobilize. If you didn’t want me going to far, all you had to do was take away my crutches or walking boot. There’s something kind of hot about knowing you physically cannot escape during a scene.

Second, I learned that there are all sorts of fun to be had while seated on chairs, spanking benches, and other such furniture. So long as weight was off of my foot, the rest of me was fair game. I could still be punched, whipped, flogged, caned, and beaten without causing any real permanent damage.

I also found creative ways to top while remaining seated. At one point, I had a submissive boy kneeling in front of me, who I did all sorts of mean things to with my fists and nails.

Finally, I found that crutches are excellent sources of humiliation play.

The week before Kinky Kollege (early October) was when I finally worked up the guts to scene. Boss of Boss Bondage was kind enough to suspend me and beat the crap out of me… With my own crutches. It was very wrong and very hot.

The following week, I played with Cannon again, who also decided to use my own crutches against me. Even though crutches are unweildy as striking implements, I did enjoy the mindfuck around the fact that I was being hit with the things I relied on to get around.

The day after I was finally rid of those cursed things, (for those of you who have never had to use crutches, they are truly evil things) a playpartner from the East Coast paid me a visit. He expressed some disappointment that he got me a day after the fact.

“You’re not as easy to immobilize now. Before, I could have just taken your crutches, and you’d have been helpless.”

“I’m still pretty easy to immobilize,” I responded, ever eager to contribute to my own downfall. “I still need a boot or shoe to walk. So just keep me away from my shoes.”

“Would that be considered shoe bondage?”

I shrugged. “I guess…”

Did I mention I’m excellent at contributing to my own downfall?

I guess the moral of this post is that it is possible to play while injured. It just requires a bit of creativity.

Unspoken Codes of Sex and Sluttery

And I realized… I’m just slutty. Where’s my parade?

-Margaret Cho

Everybody’s playing a game, but nobody’s rules are the same.

-Nobody’s Side from the musical Chess

Not too long ago, I was hanging out with a few women I know through the scene. One of them was in the middle of negotiating a booty call with someone I didn’t know. She eventually decided against pursuing the opportunity, because she deemed some of the things he said in their text-message conversation inappropriate and creepy.

Since I knew nothing about the person on the other end of the negotiation, I had no way of knowing his motivations or intentions. Whatever he said clearly violated my friend’s sensibilities, but I didn’t know if the infraction happened because his intention was misinterpreted, his intentions did not match my friend’s expectations, or his intentions were genuinely creepy and disrespectful.

“I mean, I know I’m a slut, but for crying out loud! At least buy me dinner, or something first, you know?” And with that, she chose a girls’ night out over the potential one night stand. She ignored his texts for the rest of the evening.

Although I am in no position to judge my friend’s choices, I was fascinated by her reaction. At what point did scheduling a date explicitly for the purpose of having sex turn from acceptable to creepy?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not implying that sluts have no right to set limits wherever the hell they want. Heck, I write about kinky sex on the internet and teach a class on stating limits. I also do not believe that people should be judged solely on the character of their sex lives. What fascinates me is the perpetual tug of war between people’s desire to honor their sexuality and their fears about how that desire is perceived. Some of the more promiscuous people in my circle are also the ones who are more afraid of being labeled a creep, a player, or a slut.

In one of my early posts, I railed against the idea of a correlation between depression and sex. Looking back, that feels like a naive position to take. There can be any number of motivations both healthy and destructive behind the pursuit of casual sex. Therefore, we create artificial boundaries around sex; those thresholds we keep to maintain our sense of self. All too often, a person will trip over one of these boundaries without even knowing it. Either that, or people’s unspoken expectations directly conflict with one another.

A few years ago, for example, I spent the night with a boy my friend K. set me up with. The next day, I sent an email saying that I’d had a great time, hope he did too… Something to that effect. From him, I got radio silence. This pissed me off. I figure the least he could do after fucking me was to send a thank-you email. To minimize the damage to my ego, I wrote him off as an asshole, said as such to K, and went on with my life.

I found out later that the guy was completely commitment-phobic. Apparently, I’d asked him to stay the night, and that set off alarm bells in his head. He interpreted my request and subsequent email as signs that I was possessive and needy. This was not, of course, my intention.

I had no emotional investment in this guy. Why did so much of my sense of self hang on whether I heard back from him? I think that he, purposely or no, struck a raw nerve. Even in casual encounters, I want the person I’m with to recognize me as a multidimensional human being. When I don’t feel like I’m given basic human recognition, I can’t reconcile the experience with my sense of self. Looking back, I can see how our unspoken expectations led us to the conclusions we came to about the other.

Sluttery is complicated business. Sometimes, I don’t know how anyone actually connects with anyone else. There are so many minefields to account for.

Elust #3

HNT Courtesy of 13Messages

Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in the next edition? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

♦ This Week’s Top Three Posts ♦

Presence – I wish that you would look at me now. I am willing you to look at me now, over her body, rocking with the motion of her mouth. But you do not.

Restraint – “Do you like what you see?” the blonde asks. “Are you excited by what’s before you?” the redhead enquires. He nods.

What Not to Fetishwear – DON’T wear a PVC sleeveless vest if you fall into the rotund category. You will look like a bowling ball. With chubby arms.

◊ e[lust] Editress ◊

Fucking for Art – The proximity of their nakedness and my scrutiny resulted in this beautiful agony of arousal for them both. I asked if they would feel comfortable doing some poses of vaginal penetration for me, and they readily agreed.

♦ Featured Post ♦

The Naked Truth – He didn’t just write a pretty story we could act out, he worked hard to delicately lay us out on the page together, as we are.

See also: Pleasurists #56 and #57 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Merging the halves

I’ve been thinking a lot about the title of this blog, and how my motivations for writing have changed.

When I started this blog, I felt like I lived a double life. By day, I was Clark Kent. The girl few people look twice at. The asexual acquaintance or office mate. By night I belonged to this whole other world, where I could let my hair down, cinch my waist up, and walk in a fantasy version of myself.

From that idealized version, Sascha was conceived.

I’m not in that place anymore. I’ve been in the kink scene long enough that the shiny veneer has worn off. I see its wonders, and I see its teeth.

Not only has my relationship to the scene changed, but also I have changed. Like everyone else, I have multiple facets that show through depending on the company I’m in. Right now, I feel like part of my journey is merging my pieces together. I am no longer able to section my life into two neat halves. And yet this blog claims to be about my other half.

That being said, despite the many gaps in my updating history, I find this blog more valuable than ever as a space where I can share a collection of experiences with whatever section of the Internet happens to find my writing.

I was overwhelmed by such positive responses to my last few posts, it’s clear that my writing is striking a chord with someone, and that propels me to write all the more.

The question is: do I just keep writing here, and let the blog’s purpose change as it may, or do I find another site name/blog title that better suits my present journey?

For now, I’ll keep pouring my thoughts out here, more out of laziness than anything else, probably.

If that changes, I’ll keep you posted.